One of the most difficult skills to learn is giving feedback. I am providing executive coaching for a senior vice president of a client company. As part of an initial assessment, I interviewed the executive's boss, colleagues and co-workers. It was readily apparent that people were uncomfortable giving feedback. The senior vice president's boss felt strongly that he shouldn't have to give the vice president feedback. He believed someone at the vice president's level should know what is expected of him.
The company culture is to be nice and non-confrontational. In my experience as a leadership consultant and executive coach, helping leaders overcome the fear of giving candid feedback is a critical competency.
Great leaders give and receive feedback in the moment. They are comfortable managing conflict.
Feedback is a two-way street. You must assess how well you give and receive it. Many well-intentioned leaders fail to provide blunt, direct and timely feedback to their subordinates.
This problem occurs for several reasons. Commonly, leaders and managers are afraid that criticism will demoralize employees, discussions will become confrontational, or frank conversations will result in their not being liked. This prompts many leaders and managers to postpone giving feedback until it’s time for annual performance reviews.
This is a big mistake. People are more receptive to learning about themselves when feedback is offered throughout the year, as situations arise. Employees are more likely to stay at your company if they understand the issues they need to address. This is best done in a straightforward and prompt fashion.
It is much more challenging to get honest feedback from subordinates. You must cultivate a network of junior professionals who are willing to be direct with you. Equally important is what you do with the feedback. If you act on what others tell you, you will improve your own performance, boost trust and keep the feedback loop open.
Ask yourself:
• Do I give people timely and direct feedback to act upon?
• Do I have five or six junior subordinates who will tell me things I may not want to hear—but need to hear?
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