Leadership Bad Behaviors – How to Change the Bad Habits of Leaders

We seem to live in a culture where business etiquette and basic civility is diminishing and rudeness is taking over. Perhaps it is because we are so busy and self-focused that we often are not considerate of others.

I'm continually suggesting to my executive coaching clients when we work on strategies to develop their emotional intelligence and social intelligence to express gratitude by saying "thank you" more often. It actually bring a smile to their faces knowing that in their busy work lives they consciously recognize they are failing to express their basic humanity. Enlightened leaders promise to do  better.

Happy leaders express gratitude and say "thank you". Are you open to breaking any of your leadership bad habits and becoming a happy leader?

Stop the Bad Habits of Leaders

The bad habits of leaders are easy to break. The cure for failing to express gratitude is remembering to say “thank you.” For not apologizing, it’s learning to say, “I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.” For punishing the messenger, it’s imagining how you would want to be treated under similar circumstances. For not listening, it’s keeping your mouth shut and your ears open.

Making such changes is not difficult. Most people lose sight of the many daily opportunities to correct these behaviors.

Information Compulsion

Study the bad habits of leaders, and you’ll see that half are rooted in information compulsion. Most of us have an overwhelming need to tell others something they don’t know, even when it’s not in their best interest. When we add value, pass judgment, announce that we “already knew that” or explain “why that won’t work,” we are compulsively sharing information.

Likewise, when we fail to give recognition, claim credit we don’t deserve, refuse to apologize or neglect to express our gratitude, we are withholding information. Sharing and withholding information are two sides of the same coin.

Emotions

Other bad habits are rooted in emotion, causing a different kind of compulsion. When we get angry, play favorites or punish the messenger, we are succumbing to emotion.

There’s nothing wrong with sharing or withholding information or emotion. In fact, it’s often necessary to withhold them. It’s therefore vital to consider whether information-sharing is appropriate.

Appropriate information encompasses anything that unequivocally helps another person. Communication becomes inappropriate when we go too far or risk hurting someone. When sharing information or emotion, ask yourself: Is this appropriate? How much should I share? These two questions serve as the guidelines for anything you do or say.

How to Change a Bad Habit

If you recognize yourself as having bad leadership habits, you can do something about it. Fortunately, it’s easier to stop doing something than to undergo a major personality transformation.

But the road to change is paved with difficulties. It’s hard to let go of firmly ingrained behaviors. Furthermore, even though you may make some progress, it’s challenging to change the perceptions of others who have become so used to your bad behaviors that they may not even notice your efforts to improve for quite a long time.

One way to facilitate on-the-job change is to ask for help from a select group of peers. Here are some additional guidelines.

1.  Get good information about what needs to change. A 360-degree feedback assessment is usually an effective means of determining how others perceive you. A qualified, experienced executive coach can help you obtain accurate feedback from your peers, bosses and direct reports.

2.  Once you’ve identified a bad habit you would like to change, work with your coach to implement a plan of action. Get involved with a small group of colleagues with whom you can work to make improvements.

3.  Apologize to people for your behavior, ask them to let go of the past, and tell them you are going to stop engaging in the bad habit. Ask them to let you know how you are doing, and when you fail or succeed.

4.  Listen to their input, and thank them for helping you. Arrange follow-ups with them after a predetermined time interval.

Working with a seasoned executive coach trained in emotional intelligence and incorporating leadership assessments such as the BarOn EQi and CPI 260 can help you identify any bad leadership habits and develop emotional intelligence competency.