Are you working in an organization where leaders model emotional intelligence and social intelligence? Do the leaders in your organization inspire others to create a future full of exciting possibilities? Does your company or law firm have a high performance leadership program that develops emotionally intelligent and socially intelligent leaders who are empathetic?
One of the most powerful questions one can ask is “Do I have the self-leadership interpersonal skills to avoid the traps of narcissism and demonstrate empathy?” Empathetic and inspiring leaders excite followers with high levels of energy and hope for a better shared future.
Are you a leader who models an authentic and inspiring leadership style? Are you able to create a high performance workplace by creating a workplace where employees are fully engaged and leaders inspire people to innovate and achieve important team goals?
Avoiding Narcissism’s Traps
There’s little information available about how to avoid the pitfalls of narcissism. First, narcissists rarely look inward at how they might change; it’s too painful. Second, when they are successful, they selectively listen to positive feedback and see little need to change or examine areas for improvement. Michael Maccoby, PhD, called such individuals “productive narcissists” when he wrote “Narcissistic Leaders: The Incredible Pros, the Inevitable Cons” for the Harvard Business Review (January–February 2000).
Not all narcissistic leaders, however, are so entrapped by their personalities that they can’t be open to change and willing to learn.Maccoby’s article identifies three basic ways to avoid common traps:
1. Find a trusted sidekick. Many narcissists can develop a close relationship with one person, who can act as an anchor and keep them grounded. But this person must be sensitive enough to manage the relationship. Narcissistic leaders trust only their own insights and view of reality.
Good sidekicks are able to point out the operational requirements of the leader’s vision and keep him rooted in reality. The sidekick must convince the leader to accept new ideas, showing him how they fit with his views and serve his interests.
2. Indoctrinate the organization.The narcissistic CEO wants subordinates to think as he does about business. He is skilled at converting people to his point of view. One “hall of famer” was Jack Welch at GE, who had the rare insight and know-how to get the organization to identify with him, think the way he does and become the living embodiment of the company.
Narcissists not only build company culture through teaching; they indoctrinate managers with their own personal ideology through every means possible, including rewards and incentives.
3. Seek therapy or executive coaching. Narcissists are more interested in controlling others than in knowing and disciplining themselves. If they can be persuaded to undergo therapy or coaching, they can work through their rage, alienation and grandiosity. They can keep their strengths and diminish their weaknesses to overcome vital character flaws.
Narcissistic leaders who become self-reflective are likely to be more open and likable. They can detach themselves and laugh at their irrational needs. As leaders, they are aware of being performers. A sense of humor helps them maintain enough perspective and humility to keep learning.
Working with a seasoned executive coach trained in emotional intelligence and incorporating leadership assessments such as the Bar-On EQ-i and CPI 260 can help you become an inspiring leader who displays the qualities of empathetic leadership. You can become a leader who models emotional intelligence and social intelligence, and who inspires people to become happily engaged with the strategy and vision of your company or law firm.
I am currently accepting new executive coaching and career coaching clients. I work with both individuals and organizations. Call 415-546-1252 or send an inquiry e-mail to mbrusman@workingresources.com.
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