Start Having Fierce Conversations – Interrogate Reality

Fierce Conversations

I recently led a couple of workshops on emotional intelligence and assertive communication for some of my San Francisco Bay Area clients. One of the HR Directors asked me if I could write up some of the techniques and tools we covered in my “Emotionally Intelligent Conversations” workshop.

The following are some tips you can use for having fierce conversations at work, particularly difficult conversations that have to deal with conflict or lack of trust. I often suggest these ideas when coaching clients who are having trust issues and in conflict with each other, and clients have found them to be very powerful and effective. The following are some proven ideas to engage in assertive and emotionally intelligent conversations.

Start Having Fierce Conversations

Real conversations begin with you. You must “be the change you want,” modeling how you want others to behave.

The art of fierce conversations is an evolving practice — one that must be initiated and repeated on an ongoing basis. You must practice before you enjoy progress.

Interrogate Reality for Real Conversations

Reality and truth are like “shape shifters” in fantasy films. One minute, you see an adorable puppy; the next, it morphs into a fire-spewing dragon. In business, marketplace realities, technology and global demands shift rapidly — and if you’re like most people, you try to fix the same problems with the same solutions, expecting different results.

If you fail to explore differing realities, you’ll spend an inordinate amount of time mopping up the aftermath of plans torpedoed by people who resent their organizations’ refusal to value their experience, opinions and beliefs.

Regularly interrogate reality. Ask yourself:
•  What has changed?
•  Does the plan still make sense?
•  If not, what’s required of you? Of others?
•  Which realities should be explored before important decisions are made?

Are you working in a professional services firm or other organization where executive coaches are hired to provide interpersonal communication skills and leadership development for organizational leaders? Does your organization provide executive coaching to help leaders improve their communication skills? Leaders at all levels need to improve their emotional intelligence and social intelligence competence.

One of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is “Do you regularly interrogate reality?” Emotionally intelligent and socially intelligent organizations,  provide executive coaching and communications skills training for leaders who want to have fierce conversations and be fully engaged and happy at work.

Working with a seasoned executive coach and leadership consultant trained in emotional intelligence and incorporating assessments such as the Bar-On EQ-i CPI 260 and Denison Culture Survey can help you create an organizational culture where the ability to communicate and collaborate with people through having fierce conversations is a crucial leadership competency. You can become a leader who models emotional intelligence and social intelligence, and who inspires people to become fully engaged with the vision, mission and strategy of your company or law firm.

I am currently accepting new executive coaching, career coaching, and leadership consulting clients. I work with both individuals and organizations. Call 415-546-1252 or send an inquiry e-mail to mbrusman@workingresources.com.

About Dr. Maynard Brusman

Dr. Maynard Brusman is a consulting psychologist and executive coach. He is the president of Working Resources, a leadership consulting and executive coaching firm. We specialize in helping San Francisco Bay Area companies and law firms assess, select, coach, and retain emotionally intelligent leaders.  Maynard is a highly sought-after speaker and workshop leader. He facilitates leadership retreats in Northern California and Costa Rica. The Society for Advancement of Consulting (SAC) awarded Dr. Maynard Brusman "Board Approved" designations in the specialties of Executive Coaching and Leadership Development.

For more information, please go to http://www.workingresources.com, write to mbrusman@workingresources.com, or call 415-546-1252.
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Comments

[Alan - $100K Small Business Coach]

Great article.

I love the thought, interrogate reality. Most of us don't spend enough time looking into reality to ask the right questions.

We frequently take reality at face value rather than digging into see what alternate ways of thinking are lying there.

As a business coach, I've found that that's my job, frequently challenging what my clients believe are their reality. There is a reason that I am telling them "you just can't keep doing what you've been doing and expecting different results." They have a belief about something that has locked them into a way of thinking that, if they'd just look at it a different way would change their entire life and business.

Thanks for a great article and a challenge to reality.