Dealing With a Narcissist Boss
Are you working in an organization where leaders demonstrate emotional intelligence and social intelligence? Do the leaders in your organization inspire others to create a future full of infinite possibilities? Does your company or law firm have a high performance leadership program that develops emotionally intelligent and socially intelligent leaders who can deal with a narcissistic boss?
One of the most powerful questions one can ask is “Do I have the self-leadership interpersonal skills to work with a narcissistic boss?” Empathetic and inspiring leaders excite followers with high levels of energy and hope for a better shared future.
Are you a leader who models an empathetic and inspiring leadership style? Are you able to create a high performance workplace by creating a workplace where employees are fully engaged and leaders care about people and help them achieve important team goals?
Be prepared to look for another job if you cannot disagree with your narcissistic boss. Remember, the company or law firm is betting on his vision of the future — not yours.
Here are a few tips on how to survive in the short term:
• Empathize with your boss’s feelings, but don’t expect any reciprocal empathy. Look elsewhere to boost your self-esteem. Behind his display of infallibility, your boss hides a deep vulnerability. Praise his achievements, and reinforce his best impulses — but be wise. An intelligent narcissist can see through flattery, preferring independent people who truly appreciate him.
Show that you will protect his image, inside and outside the organization. Be cautious if he asks for an honest evaluation. What he wants is information that will help him solve an image problem. He will resent any honesty that threatens his inflated self-image, and he is likely to retaliate.
• Give your boss ideas, but always let him take credit for them. Find out what he thinks before presenting your views. If he is wrong, show how a different approach would be in his best interest. Take his paranoid views seriously, and don’t brush them aside; they often reveal sharp intuitions. Disagree only when you can demonstrate how he will benefit from a different point of view.
• Hone your management skills. Narcissistic leaders often give subordinates many more orders than can possibly be executed. Ignore requests that don’t make sense. Forget about them. He will. But be careful: Carve out free time for yourself only when you know there’s a lull in the boss’s schedule. Narcissistic leaders feel free to call you at any hour of the day or night. Make yourself available, or be prepared to get out.
Working with a seasoned executive coach trained in emotional intelligence and incorporating leadership assessments such as the Bar-On EQ-i and CPI 260 can help you become an inspiring leader who displays the qualities of empathetic leadership. You can become a leader who models emotional intelligence and social intelligence, and who inspires people to become happily engaged with the strategy and vision of your company or law firm.
I am currently accepting new executive coaching and career coaching clients. I work with both individuals and organizations. Call 415-546-1252 or send an inquiry e-mail to [email protected].
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